Tiny signs of growing up

I don't know if it is coming from preschool or hearing what others call their parents, but our kids are showing us tiny signs of growing up. The last couple of days, Antonio has been calling us Mom and Dad...instead of Mommy and Daddy. I know for some that might not mean much, but to me it is the world. I don't want to be just Mom yet. I want to be Mommy for several more years. And they do still call me Mommy, but more and more it is turning into just Mom and Dad. And that makes me sad.

I can't believe how fast it is all going. And as crazy as it sounds...it makes me want to try to have another baby. The fear of having two again and what it could/would do to my body still outweighs the desire, but the desire is definitely growing. Especially when all my friends around me are having more babies.

There is absolutely no guarantee that it would be two, but the thought of it still scares me. I was so blessed and lucky the first time. I was able to rest often and had two beautiful healthy babies that were able to leave the hospital when we did. But, there is no guarantee that that would happen again. Chasing two two-year-olds might inhibit my ability to rest. And, then what if I have two infants again? That was really hard. But two infants on top of two toddlers. Two toddlers who are a lot of work. Don't get me wrong, they are great kids, but I'm not sure how I would manage an infant or two all day, every day with the other two. I'm afraid one or the others would get neglected. I don't know how parents with so many kids divide their time. It is beyond me. Maybe I would understand more if I had more, but it is still scary.

The only thing I know is that before I know it my babies are going to be off to college and then what? Do I want them to be the only two kids that I have? Unfortunately the answer is still...I don't know!